At last week's checkup Dr. A confirmed that our baby is still stubbornly breech. And before the internal exam she joked that if she felt a head we would see her eyes bug out of her head. Instead she said, "Oh...I think I feel a foot. Your baby is footling."
She explained. Baby is still seated Indian style with rump pointed toward my left hip. You can play along at home, kids. Sit on the floor with your legs crossed like Buddha, and sort of lean over onto your right butt cheek. Your left foot should be positioned under or in front of your right knee. Got it? Okay, now imagine that there is a bathtub drain below the toes of your left foot, but it's sort of a stretchy drain that doesn't need to be dilated at all for your foot to slip right through. Are you getting this?--I don't need to be dilated at all, and baby's foot could slip right through. How does one respond to such news? With hysterical panicky giggling, of course.
Robb, I have some terrible news: I am carrying Chuck Norris, and he wants to deliver a roundhouse kick to my hoo-ha.