Thursday, January 13, 2011

Things I did not know 2 weeks ago

1. Having one's clothing changed is not unlike being attacked by an ax murderer, so naturally one's response to both should be the same: hysterical screaming, flailing of limbs, and scratching one's assailant in the face and neck. (I thought that Tmomma's little Bug was being melodramatic in honor of our visit. Not so.)

2. Bra cup sizes continue on through the alphabet past the letter D. I presume that Z-cup ladies have their nipples dragging in the road behind them. My own cups overfloweth and have reached an initial of which I was not previously aware. No, I won't divulge that letter's identity. Let's just say that it's shorthand for, "Oh, the humanity!"

3. Water-boarding's got nothing on newborns. At least my late preggo insomnia had me in training for this. Sleep deprivation has been really hard on Robb. He would confess to anything right about now.

4. The narcotic properties of breast milk on infants appear to be photosensitive. The same feeding that knocks the baby out for hours at 3 in the afternoon seems to energize and invigorate her at 3 in the morning. More research is pending.

That is all for now.


Anonymous said...

Ah. Good ol' sleep deprivation. Been there, done that. After about 10 days of NO sleep, I decided I would either shoot myself or quickly figure out a remedy to that problem. Against the advice of the "experts" out there, I put my newborn in bed with me and VOILA!!!! Many hours of uninterrupted sleep followed. I slept on my side in the fetal position with the down arm under my pillow and baby fit nicely into that little crook. Nursing was a breeze. He would wake up to eat and I would simply lift my shirt up, he would eat and we'd both be fast asleep again. When I turned over, I moved him over under the opposite arm and his next meal was at the other boob. Best decision I ever made. Life was so much more pleasant when I didn't want to kill everything that moved. I did that with all three babies and I managed to never crush or smother anyone. How are things going with the cloth diapers? Hope you and Robb are doing well, despite the lack of sleep.
Laura (Linda's niece) (Not Laura Prinn, hahahaha)
p.s. Maureen is beautiful.

Mo said...

I would have something witty to say here.
Sleep was a nice thing to have that one time, right?
I think I remember...

Mo said...

PS: I have given up trying to explain the bra-sizing system to Carl, and how 38DD is not the next size up from 36D or DD, and where the F's and I's come in.

(Somewhere around "EFF, my EYE! Don't turn around so abruptly, woman! You almost put it out with those things!")

Tmomma said...

Lol, I continue to love your blog! My only warning with the co-sleeping is that nursing can be challenging when you have a larger chest, I could never get the hang of it with Bug and we never ended up figuring out co-sleeping with him either but that was for his own health reasons at the time (nuking him with allergens while nursing was the problem in retrospect!). Hopefully she'll get her days and nights figured out soon, that is no fun at all! Our sitter said to spin Bug on a table when that was the issue. Didn't work but figured it couldn't hurt either. Does nursing make you tired? I did me, I would want to zonk out every time for the entire time I nursed, it was kind of nice.

bbmowery said...

Laura & Tmomma - Yeah, I don't think the cosleeping would work. I tried that side-lying nursing position and nearly smothered the poor kid with the boob not in use. I have to sit up to feed her, and it's just not comfie in the bed. Last night Maureen did pretty well between feedings. I'm not sure if she slept, but she was quietly entertaining herself with a lot of upper body choreography when I checked on her. And she enjoys the light show on the ceiling from the projection thingy that Jamie & Kevin gave us.

Mo - Bra humor = hilarious!

Tmomma - Nursing makes me sleepy and very hungry. It would be more convenient if I could dislocate my jaw like a snake and swallow food whole. But then Robb might come home to find a telltale bulge in my neck and ask, "Where is the dog?"