5. Burping baby can give you a fat lip, if your baby, like ours, interprets burping as a cruel trick to cheat her out of more milk and insists upon doing pushups off of your chest during the burping while swinging her head straight at your face like a wrecking ball. I've taken to calling her The Fighting Forehead. (When was the last time you watched The Commitments?)
6. Our dog is the size of a Clydesdale. Comparatively speaking.
7. When Maureen was born we heard Dr. A say that the umbilical cord was wrapped loosely around her neck. So she had good reason to be--and stay--breech. What a smart baby!
8. For a while I was on the fence about breastfeeding, especially after I read that your boobs can get up to three times larger once your milk comes in. I was all, "Holy crap, if that happens I'll have to join the circus!" My friend Tina assured me that what I read was bologna, and that my boobs would be the same size they were at the time of delivery. What I did not know 2 weeks ago is that Tina is a liar.